One of the best holiday traditions out there is the Secret Santa.
Each year friends, family, and coworkers get together to give presents to someone of their secret choosing, leaving each other with random, wonderful, sometimes horrible, gifts.
Join members of the TV Fanatic team as we discuss what we would give our favorite characters if we got them in Secret Santa.
Sutton and Jane – The Bold Type
They’re getting monogrammed “personal massagers,” so they can avoid any potential ick factor moments in the future.
Friends have got to be close, but there is such thing as too close.
Sutton and Jane had to learn this hard way when Sutton was moving out of their apartment.
The Entire Cast – Daybreak
The cast of Daybreak needs a second season.
Daybreak was one of the highlights of television this year and finding out that the show had met such an untimely demise was a punch in the gut.
These characters deserve a second season to continue their journey through the apocalypse.
The Perfectionists – PLL: The Perfectionists
PLL: The Perfectionists may be over, but that wouldn’t stop us from giving them one last parting gift.
A state of the art surveillance system could be exactly what they need to go up against The Professor.
Best way to fight a stalker is to stalk them right back.
Jon – Game of Thrones
We know exactly what to get Jon Snow.
He’s getting an iron throne replica because that man deserved to be King of the Seven Kingdoms.
In an unfortunate series finale, Jon being banished to the wall instead of leading the realm into a new age was one of the saddest parts.
Dolores/Wyatt – Westworld
Dolores and Wyatt need a pop-culture encyclopedia!
Now that she’s out in the real world, she has a lot of catching up to do on what’s going on.
Most importantly she needs to get caught up on pop culture so she can have something to talk to people about.
Meredith – Grey’s Anatomy
Meredith Grey needs to study up to keep from going to the pokey again.
She’s getting a book of Washington’s medical laws.
If we learned nothing else from her trial with the medical board, it is that Meredith Grey cannot stop breaking the rules, so she might want to brush up on them to avoid any future issues.
Dustin – Stranger Things
Dustin’s gift is also a gift for us.
He’s getting a karaoke machine so that we can listen to him sing “The NeverEnding Story” over and over again until the end of time.
Who didn’t love Dustin and his girlfriend serenading eachother during Stranger Things Season 3?
Chidi – The Good Place
Chidi has a very particular dilemma he faces, and we aim to help him combat it.
He’s getting a Magic Eight Ball to help him make decisions since he hates making choices.
Sometimes we all just need a little extra help making the tough choices, and an impartial inanimate object is the perfect solution for someone as indecisive as Chidi.
Kim – Better Call Saul
We’re getting Kim something that will make her time on Better Call Saul Season 5 a lot easier.
She’s getting a lie detector because you know that Jimmy is going to lie to her a ton as he becomes the Saul that we all know and love.
You almost have to wonder, though, if Jimmy could manage to pass one with how experienced he is at lying.
Wade – The Unicorn
This one almost makes us cry. Wade is getting the complete DVD set of 8 Simple Rules (for Dating My Teenage Daughter).
That way he can laugh and cry with a family in a similar situation as his.
It also can give him some guidance on how to raise kids in a sitcom setting.
Mary – Young Sheldon
Mary is the queen of sticking by her religious beliefs.
A Buddy Christ dashboard ornament (ala the movie Dogma), would be a perfect present for her.
After all, Buddy Christ totally is her co-pilot.
Family Gift – black-ish
What do you get the family that seems to have everything?
They get a set of Hogwarts robes for everyone in the family.
Everyone is sorted into houses, of course. Jack, Junior — Hufflepuff; Diane, Ruby — Slytherin; Zoe, Rainbow — Ravenclaw; Dre, Pops –Gryffindor; and Devante gets to be a House Elf.
Morty – Rick and Morty
Poor Morty. Hopefully, this gift will put a smile on his face.
Morty is getting a Back to the Future Board Game so that he can go on an Adventure Through Time with his family without anyone dying for once.
Is an adventure without death too much to ask for?
Christy – Mom
Look, taking care of a living creature is tough.
For someone who might not be the most proficient at it, a pet Algae/Marimo (https://www.tofugu.com/japan/marimo/) is a great gift.
Christy deserves something that thrives despite her spotty care.
Delilah – A Million Little Things
Oh, Delilah, it’s possible nothing can help us forgive you let alone like you.
But, we’re gifting you a self-help book because you clearly don’t understand that you need help.
Delilah hasn’t only caused herself pain, but she has hurt everyone around her.
She needs to get her life together.
Malcolm – Prodigal Son
Our gift for Malcolm should make life for those working with him a lot easier, too.
He needs a tracking chip so he can be found whenever he runs off impulsively without telling anyone, or, you know, gets kidnapped by a serial killer
A tracking chip could make everyone else’s lives so much simpler.
Alex – Grey’s Anatomy
Alex Karev has been MIA far too much on Grey’s Anatomy Season 16.
He needs his position at the hospital back so he can finally have actual screentime and a plot.
With Bailey on the verge of a mental breakdown, now would be the perfect time for him to step up as Chief at Grey Sloan.
Owen – Grey’s Anatomy
Owne is getting macaroni gifts from all of his kids. We don’t even need to pay for anything!
Once it seemed like he might not get the children he wanted so badly, but he sure seems to have enough of them now.
Hopefully, Amelia isn’t giving him another one (Oops! Did we say that out loud?).
Maggie – Grey’s Anatomy
Maggie is a beautiful, smart, successful woman, but she has no luck when it comes to her love life.
She’s getting a matchmaker gift card so that she can find a man who appreciates her.
Prefererbly, she’ll find a man who doesn’t work at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital!
Liz Ortecho – Roswell, New Mexico
Liz got her sister back during Roswell, New Mexico Season 1, but in turn she lost the man she loves.
You’ve got to love a no-win situation.
What Liz could use for Christmas this year is an alien remedy to revive Max and age up her sister Rosa.
The Roy Family – Succession
The Dale Carnegie series that started with How to Win Friends and Influence People is a great gift for every member of the Roy family.
They need to start with the basics of learning how to treat people better.
Maybe we can wipe the Scrooge-like qualities right out of their lives!
The Dutton Family – Yellowstone
The Dutton Family is still grieving the loss of their family matriarch.
We’re going to give them something that they might not be all that willing to accept.
They’re getting counseling sessions so that they can start living in the now without continually crushing the souls of those remaining family members they have left.
Conrad and Nic – The Resident
Merry Christmas, Conrad and Nic! We’re getting you tickets for a cruise.
They can’t vacation at home because the lure of the hospital is too hard for them to ignore, so they need to be held captive on a moving vessel (albeit a luxury vessel) to get some quality alone time. Finally.
And now that Conrad is without a job, they can really use the break (for free!).
Athena and Bobby – 9-1-1
This romantic pair does so much for the benefit of others.
We’re giving them seed money so that they can start their own non-profit counseling fellow first responders.
While they could use a little therapy themselves, they’re always called on to restore their coworkers’ faith in humanity, and with the number of times they’ve succeeded so far, why not share the wealth?
Diana and Matthew – A Discovery of Witches
We’d offer this romantic pair a catalog of DVDs so that they can watch the OG Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, and even Witches of East End.
Those shows could help them navigate being different species of supernatural creatures in love while continuously battling outside forces trying to tear them apart.
It would have been a Netflix subscription, but as fast as these shows bounce from one streamer to another, DVDs are all that we can count on anymore!
Abby Lee Miller – Dance Moms
We’d give Abby a new pair of working legs.
She never really did the choreography with the kids, but she should at least have a chance to give it a god.
After serving her year in prison only to get Burkitt lymphoma and almost die, it’s the least we can do!
Sound off in the comment section TV Fanatics!
Share what you would give to the characters that you love.
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Meaghan Frey is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.